Wish u Were here

It seemed like eternity, my mind was in a dazzled state, I couldn’t see things clearly was confused , was not sure if to move on or return to where I had come from. Alone and lonely I knew there was no one around. I gazed in search of someone I could talk to but my eyes refused to help me. Everywhere I looked around I saw nothing but mirages, mirages of people who were happy, people who somehow lived with a big smile on their lips; I did approach them but only to see them vanish in thin air. There was no one I could talk to and I was all alone. In life there comes a time, when our decisions do not affect anyone else but us, there’s no one to help or look for support, no one can help us out not because they don’t want to but just because they just don’t understand.

It was one such moment for me, I was about to take one of the most important decisions of my life, I was about to embark on a journey which could decide my very purpose of existence. I wondered if moving on and choosing a different path was an option I had. The road ahead of me seemed endless and ready to drown me down in its infinite existence. There were no diversions in sight. I was sure of where I had come from and knew there were no diversions on my way back. So, I made the obvious choice, I decided to walk along, I decided to take the road I once dreaded, it was a path full of illusions, a path that was long and tedious and I knew would soak up every bit and part of what was left in me but I chose to follow it, I had to, there was no other choice.

I tottered along the infinite road, I was very tired already, and the long journey I had already accomplished had made me drenched with sweat. I was sloppy and I smelled very bad I thought, my lips were parched by the summer heat and I was very thirsty. Also I did notice I was growing weak but I chose to move along. All I wished for right now was a glass of cool, clear water and someone who could help me drink it. I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to drink it, I felt a strange emptiness in my heart. I wished I had someone to talk to, the road was endless and I was already bored.

As I walked along I thought I saw faces, I was sure it was another illusion and didn’t pay any attention to it. I continued walking and I that I saw a human figure , that did give me a flicker of hope, I started to walk fast as I approached , I saw a man sitting beneath a tree. I was happy, finally I had someone I could talk to, someone who could help me understand and help me get off this endless road I had chosen. I waved a big hello and greeted him with a big empty smile on my lips. He seemed unmoved; I came closer and asked him if this road did lead to somewhere and if there were any diversions on the way. I told him I was tired of this long journey and now hoped it would end soon. He was still staring at me, I was surprised and I repeated my question. He smiled and looked up in the sky, smiled again and said I knew you were coming. He continued , I can help you get off the road but I am hungry , I haven’t eaten anything since a long time , I am hungry and I don’t have the energy to move on with you. I remembered I had carried some food with me knowing it would be a long journey. Happily I offered him my food and said he could grab a bite while he walked with me. He told me to follow him as he led my way. I was happy I had found someone who was not only walking with me but was also ready to help me out. I looked back on the road, I turned back to face the road I had followed sarcastically and gave a boyish smile. I was happy, I wanted the road to know, it was over and now we would never be meeting again. Ecstatic with happiness and false pride in my eyes I continued staring at the road for some time. It made me content, I looked back, wanted to ask him how long will it take for me to get a diversion but he was nowhere to be found, I had lost him.

Alone again, I was sick of myself. I had lost him, the bright summer sun was shining down on me as I walked on, and I was hungry and thirsty. I was weak but had nothing to eat. As I moved on I saw pieces on glass smeared across the road, I wondered if this was a part of this road or was it a prank to upset the travellers on this road. For now I was glad I had my shoes on. I slowly progressed, I saw someone. After all I hadn’t lost him at all, maybe he realised I wasn’t following him and he was waiting for me to come. I ran and noticed it was someone else. He was bleeding profusely, I wondered what happened which made his legs bleed too badly. I then realised he wasn’t wearing shoes and the pieces of glass I had just seen on the road had cut his legs and made him bleed. I was close to him , I smiled and asked if he knew where did this road lead to , he cried as he told me he couldn’t walk and his legs were weak , he said he needed shoes to walk with me , I was keen to get off the road by now . I took off my shoes and helped him to get them on, he put them on and tried to walk but he fell down as his head hit the road and fell unconscious. I was in yet another problem; I was on an endless journey and was standing next to a man I didn’t even know that was unconscious. I was scared, had no clue what so ever as to what should I do next. I carried him in my arms, there was a tree on the pavement, I knew the shade would help him; I left him beneath the shade and moved on.

The road was burning in the summer heat now, my legs weakened but I had no choice, there were still no diversions and neither had I noticed any end to this road. I wondered what time was it and how long had I been walking. The journey was getting tougher with every passing moment, I was thirsty, hungry and my legs refused to support me. Just then I saw a cottage as I walked in I saw a man feeding his child. I wondered if I should burrow some food, but I couldn’t. Instead I asked him if he knew where this road leaded to and if there were any diversions on the way. He smiled and said he would be more than happy to help me but he had to drop back his child at school and I should probably wait for some time until he is back. I wondered if I could wait, I was sure I had to get off the road by now, I dint want to spend the whole night all alone on this empty road by myself. I asked him what time will exactly he be coming back, he fumbled to me he didn’t have a watch hence had no clue. I gave him my watch, and asked him to be back in 15 minutes while I would take a nap. Desperation had made me do things I never wanted to I said to myself. I wondered what made me part my watch with someone I didn’t even know at the first place. I was tired and thought should take a nap before he arrives.

When I woke up, I felt drowsy, my head was paining, my stomach ached without food and my legs burnt as in hell. Wondering what time was it, I looked out to notice the sun was fading and it was close to evening. I was late I thought, I left the cottage and started walking, without my watch.

The road still was endless, I dragged myself along. I noticed a half naked child playing on side of the road. I shouted if he knew where did this road lead to and if he could show me my way around. He came running towards me, he said “I have lived on this road since past 3 years, I know everything about it; I know every inch of this road”. I and my friends play the road show game he continued. I can’t walk with you half naked though, desperate to get off the road I took off my shirt and gave it to him. With the shirt on he did look like my saviour I said to myself. I asked him to lead my way, just as I thought he could help me, a lady came running, slapped the kid and screamed at him for playing in the sun for so long. The kid started to cry but she slapped him again took him in her arms and left.

I felt cheated, I had lost my food, watch, shoes and I was half naked. My lips were scorched but I was still walking. It was late evening when I noticed the road actually was ending.

I thought I saw her, this road led to her and all this while I was trying to be such a fool by searching for diversions. I wondered if she could see me coming. Then I noticed she wasn’t alone, she was with a huge crowd. I thought I saw a thin blue air around her. All of them were happy, smiling and cheerful because they were with her. I felt my heart jumping with joy and I thought I will be like them, happy again once I am there with her. I also noticed they were drinking something, I also saw her serving everyone a drink in all but glass shaped vessels. All of the glasses were not of the same size though, some of them were very large, while some were very small but all of them had one each they were delighted and were drinking.

I finally came closer to her, she saw me coming and smiled, the smile made me at ease and I felt good as never before. Then she came closer and I perceived she was upset. I asked her what was that made her upset. She said nothing, looked at me and started to walk back. I doubted what had I done wrong to make her upset. I asked her once again, she said she was upset at my condition, my clothes and what did I appear to be. I felt guilty to come in such a condition and embarrass her in front of everyone. I hadn’t noticed before but visibly everyone was laughing at me, I thought I saw familiar faces but they were laughing too. Never before had I been so embarrassed in my life, I felt bad because I had let her down and had made a mockery of myself. Tears sprang up in my eyes as I started to cry.

She saw me crying and came closer. She said it was okay and wiped off my tears. Her touch made me feel good, all of my pain, hunger no longer existed. I felt content and happy, but still I was thirsty. I asked her if I could have something to drink to quench my thirst. She smiled and said she didn’t have any extra glasses, and hence I couldn’t have what everyone was drinking. I was really thirsty and asked her if I could drink from someone else’s glass or may be from her glass. She smiled again and said a no; I wondered what I should do next because the road had ended. Pondering over this, I asked her. She told me to close my eyes and rest for a while as I seemed tired. She put her hand on my eyes and forced me to shut them; with my eyes closed I couldn’t see a thing. I was thirsty. Hungry, my legs were burning and I couldn’t sleep.

I slowly opened my eyes to tell her I wasn’t able to sleep. I was shocked by what I saw she was gone and so was everybody. I was alone sitting on a road which somehow looked familiar. I was hungry, thirsty, and half naked, had no shoes on my legs and was without a watch. I was back at the place I had started. I looked down the road, it was endless, infinite, and I smiled at myself and started to walk again words echoed in my brain, screaming and shouting WISH YOU WERE HERE.