Breathing leisurely -2 “Foe”

I grabbed all the blue colored squinted pages in my hands and gawked in the mirror. Trying to smile, I presented a brave face to myself but the mirror chose to betray me. All I saw was a nervous cumbersome smile ready to rattle the last bit of faith I was trying to repose in myself.”Damn! “ I cried “ Tomorrow the entire school would know what a fool am I, The debate finals is mere 12 hours away and I can’t even get a proper grip on my speech” Frustrated and annoyed I looked out the window, moon was shining bright and stars were playing the prefect accomplice to him. The cool and serene atmosphere was very inspiring; I puffed heavily on the tranquil breeze making another false attempt to quieting my distorted thoughts. “I just can’t do this” I shouted at myself, “The morning sun shall bring the doom day of my school life” My goal , the job at hand appeared all but out of reach yet I chose not to give up. Banking on my strengths and the fact that I had actually made it to the finals, I wanted to prove my folly off beam. I chuckled and gazed back at the mirror. The first battle had been won, the calm and serene posture of mine brought back half of my faith and self belief. I stumbled for a few seconds and then went ahead full throttle with my speech. I realized my voice was very shaky and I had crossed the allotted time by half the margin. I simply had no clue as what needed to be done. I was satisfied with my bearings but the velvety touch needed in the orator for winning the finals was missing. My reflection in the mirror was now laughing at me, mocking my false valor and bravery, shattering my confidence to pieces. I cleared my throat and gave it one last shot. I thought I stuttered at first but the rest of my speech went well, silky and smooth. I wanted to do better than this, and my confidence was coming back. I smiled at myself and thought I still had the whole night to go and not sleeping the whole night was not a very bad option. “Desperate times call for desperate measures” I giggled and went through the notions all over again. Finally the moment arrived, after my one night stand with perseverance, now it was my turn to have an affair with glory. Sweat dripped down my face as seconds flew by. I noticed it was a while before the competition began, the initial proceedings were to consume a lot of time. In an attempt to calm down my nerves I checked my mobile. An instant click of a button displayed the message “All the best dude” I searched in the hall full of people to see my best friend sitting in the second row; I waved at him and mouthed the words “Thanks” He chuckled and I felt great now. The nervousness was still there but self doubt was long gone. I had chosen to trust myself because my best friend banked on me so much. “I can let myself down but I can’t shatter his trust” I said to myself and smiled. After a few formal introductions by our school principal the few hours to glory finally began. I hurled myself in the queue of terrified orators as an intense silence filled the entire space. Tension was mounting and my legs now were beginning to shake. I looked at my palms to find them cold and sweaty. Lights beamed on me as my name was announced on the stage. I tottered through very heavy steps and stopped when I reached the podium. The lights suddenly turned on and I could see the entire hall full of people. My stomach was churning and i was dizzy. Searching for support I fixed my stare in the second row searching for my friendwith nlights blazing in from all directions. Suddenly I found my legs shivering, my empty stomach beating faster than my pulse and that my heart had long disappeared. The lights towering in from all directions transpired their intensity in me and I felt as if I was on fire. The feeling was incomparable, I was petrified of it. I clasped my hands in a fluent motion so as to help me calm down my nerves but they were shaking too. I looked at the huge auditorium full of people and all eyes were on me. It was a moment of uncertainty when all I had ever achieved, my thoughts, my character was to be moderated by every single soul present in this room and in a matter of few minutes. I focused hard to remember any part of the speech only to realize I was worn down by a black out. I could not remember a thing; I looked around to see my best friend sitting in the second row lurking over to some girl. I felt stupid, I knew I had made a fool of myself, but still trying not to panic, I slowly began my speech. After the initial few lines which were very alluring, i forgot it all. I tried to frame sentences but they were vague and out of order. I tried reciting a quote, in a false attempt to fix the situation and that was when I stammered. Laughter filled in the room as I stood there silent, traumatized. Suddenly I saw my best friend, sitting in the second row he was laughing too, pointing his finger at me and discovering new jokes to share with his accomplice, the new girl in our class. I felt like a complete idiot, tears swelled in my eyes as the laughter refused to die down. My friend was mocking me still and I cried. All this while I thought he backed me, he trusted me but it was a nightmare. My friend stood right in front of me ready to slaughter me, myself respect and my confidence with his humor. I wept silently and stood on the podium transfixed. After a few moments I was pulled, shaken and stirred from my agony. I then realized that my quota of time was up and it was now time for the new speaker to deliver the goods. I tried to tug myself along but my feet were still heavy. My heart was broken and my persona had been mortified to that of a coward. With a heavy heart as I left the podium, words echoed from all ends of the auditorium , deafening my ears “Friendship is the greatest gift of god to man, a man can always choose his friends , those who stick by him , care for him , Love him , and protect him”