Part -2 “Her”

I remember nibbling on my sandwich and listening intently to my mother’s complains regarding the frequent power cuts in our city. It was dark, cold and melancholy. It was then I was told about you, that you were to come here and stay in my city. Your father had faced legal complications and now he wanted to move in and build a new life all together. I remember my father talking at the dining table about how cunning your family was, how you had duped many of their fortunes and now wanted to set aside all issues and live peacefully. Your father was close to my dad, a school friend I was told and with my father complaining about the evilness residing in his friend I had built my inhibitions about you, your family and everything that concerned you. We had also moved in our new house a few days ago and I was told that you would be buying our old abode. I was very annoyed with the very thought of sharing my heaven with someone who was as evil as you. I hated the fact that you would now run around on the stairs I had decorated for Christmas, you would stare at the moon from the window I had spent many reclusive nights with. I was unhappy, dissatisfied but I could not complain. Finally the day arrived and you were here, I had to skip my dance class to welcome you and show you the house. Your flight had been delayed and I remember sitting on the stairs with my head resting in between my knees. I was hungry, bored and very exasperated. When you finally came it was late evening and I could not see you, your face properly. Your father thanked me for welcoming you in my home and I couldn’t help but retort with a smile. The lights were switched on and I finally saw you. Your eyes met mine and I still don’t know why i blushed. I broke away from your gaze only to notice you staring at my nose; it was cold, damp and red. Your intensified stare was making me very uneasy and even though I was hungry I walked out in the snow politely declining your invitation of dinner. I remember telling myself that I should stay away from you but I could not help it. I always pretended not to notice you or anything you said but your thoughts came rushing back at me, always and precisely when I was alone. My inhibitions were soon cast aside as I learnt to enjoy and appreciate your presence in my life. I enjoyed being with you, walking side by side with the cool breeze brushing across us. I used to picture you sitting on my bed, staring out the window and thinking intently, breathing the air and purity that surrounded my room and its vicinity. The bicycle rides to school were fun with you. And though I scrapped your knee the first time, I was happy. I had touched you. The memory of your touch refuses to go away. I was feeling very bad for hurting you and I had kneeled, touched your knee and prayed. I wanted you to be fine and I wanted my guilt of bruising your knee to die down. Then it was me and you again. I used to tuck my arms around your waist feeling your warm woolen sweater as those cycle rides turned magical. I looked forward for them, I waited to go to school so that you would come along, ride my bicycle and I could sit behind tucking my arms around your waist. Then there were days when we hardly used to see each other. My father often took me along when he chose to visit you but then we could not communicate. I miss the time when you held my hand and took me to the roof, to show me kittens safely resting under the stairs. But those days were few and far in between. I used to water my plants everyday in the evening knowing you had to go to the supermarket at the same time. I remember you smiling at me and mouthing a silent “hello”, I still miss the glitter in your eyes. And then it was my birthday. I had planned each and every detail to the minute so that I could be with you. I wanted to share with you my favorite chocolate. I wanted to feel the sweetness of it with you next to me. My birthday party was a nice and tidy affair. The party had been arranged in a classy yet pompous manner. I miss searching you in the sea of faces. I wanted to feel your presence within me on my special day but you were not there. When you finally arrived I did not even notice you. I could not believe you had actually made it and the agonizing wait of not having to see you again was over. I can still feel your eyes on me, making me blush and smile. I wanted to be with you, for some reason the presence of any other soul in the room that day was disturbing and annoying. I held your hands in mine and you shivered. I pressed them closer taking your palm into mine. Your touch was magical and your smell startling. I wanted to show you my room and share my chocolate with you. I had arranged every bit in my room for sharing this moment with you. The bed was tucked in its place, the white walls were adding to the serenity that filled the room and I had placed my earrings on the table, for you to notice them. I was such a fool, I still am. With the lights turned on I felt your eyes on me. The room sparked with the entire charm it could sustain. Finally I had my moment, when I could be with you and share with you all of my secrets. I wanted you to know me as much as I knew myself. You clasped your hands in mine and leant in, I was startled. Not knowing what to do I screamed. I even hit you on your face. The animosity was disrupted and the bond between us evaded. Tears ran down my cheeks as the truth of what I had done hit me. I cried and you stood silently looking disturbed, trying to locate a place to feed your eyes with. It was not intentional, I was a fool. It was an impulse, an impulse that made me scream every night after you were gone, when I could not see you, when I needed you near to me. I needed time. My parents came rushing along and that was the last I ever saw of you. You trembled in a perfect delicate set up with your anguish hauntingly matching the symphony that pre existed, filled and swallowed the room.