“J saw her reclusive face in the mirror and spotted a tear. Yet again today she had been forced to eat her lunch alone. Sitting on the far end on the huge dining table with a bowl of fresh chocolate cream in her hand had made her restless. She wanted to cry on the table itself but she knew that her servants could spot her. She had controlled herself hence. Now she was in the washroom and crying her heart out.
She had never expected her parents to be with her on a dull summer afternoon, she knew they were too busy for that. She missed the presence of K. He was not there and not with her for the afternoon lunch. Every summer they used to share the holidays together. But this summer it was different, K was committed and in love. J was bitter and alone. K had a Girl friend, J was still single.
The basic terms of this variation had been established a few years back. Both J and K while the brightest brains of the college, were not popular, Nerds as the rest of college labeled them. People loved their company, their presence in the college campus, chance for a science project with them was grabbed with both hands but outside the same college campus it was different. No one wanted to mingle with them, termed a geek or a social outcast in general terms, it was difficult for them to share their feelings, instincts with someone else. It often appeared to them that the huge wall surrounding the college campus was a filter, something that filtered their personalities out when they left college through it, and left them so weak that no one wanted to talk to them outside the campus. It had always been like this. Slowly and gradually, J and K had turned acquaintances and best friends.
They both had many similarities, both were geeky and nerdy, both were a social outcast and both felt the college campus wall to be a filter. With no one else in their life, they completed their world for the other. It was a simple time. J had shared all her secrets with him and K secured them deep in his heart, comforting her at the same time.
Life had sailed comfortably for a considerable period of time until one day K was left heartbroken. J could acutely remember the time when she had found K suicidal with a mouthful of sleeping pills in his hands. K had always been very sensitive to love and acceptance issues, apparently he had savored intense liking for a colleague since a very long time and had finally generated enough courage so as to let her know. Her cold denial had broken him. J hated her, even now. Months had passed since the incident but K never calmed down.
K soon had his first girl friend and a new personality. J hated him for changing. Now she was left alone and in tatters. It wasn’t that K didn’t care for her as he used to, but she was jealous, she was envious of the presence of a new soul in his life who demanded more attention than J. J had to admit, K was not able to spend as much time with her as she would like him to. He was with his new asset, his new girl friend for most of the time. J on the other hand was alone in her big mansion, supporting their dying friendship with a meek smile.
J knew that K missing a simple summer afternoon lunch was not a big issue. But her mind kept wandering to K and his new girl friend, what were they doing and if K had forgotten her. She kept imagining them holding hands and whispering love words to each other. He could picture K kissing his girl friend. She had to agree, she was jealous.
J had never met the super perfect girl friend of K. He never introduced J to her. But his girl friend’s intrusion in the bond they shared was pretty evident. From the constant beeping of K’s cell phone, to her calls asking his whereabouts, the intrusion was pretty evident. K was not an unpopular kid by any means now; the college crowd had accepted him and made him a part of their own. He was not a geek anymore, he was invited to parties, night outs and every other social event J was never even told about. J had no clue if he did attend any of them, she simply didn’t want to know.
J had been forced to shut her world to herself. She often thought that all the meek attention she still received from K was pity. K pitied her cause she was still a geek, while he had transformed and grown in stature. He was not a nerd while she still was. The college wall did not filter his personality anymore while J could never escape the fine pores of the blessed wall.
J had asked K a number of times to introduce her to his girl friend. All of her requests had been politely ignored. J often wondered if K’s girl friend would be jealous of the fact that she used to be close to K once upon of time. She had even stalked K so that she could get a glimpse of his girl friend. Even that had failed. She could never spot her. They met at the secretest of places she imagined.
J often had images of K’s girl friend floating in her head. She could imagine them both sitting in a suburb uptown street, obvious yet aloof spending wonderful time together. J adored the fact that K’s girl friend had an affinity for privacy in romance. For J romance was supposed to be hidden from the world, it made it all the merrier.
But there were times when she hated K’s girl friend. Those long hours when she used to stare at K while he was stuck on the phone with her girl friend were a threat. The constant messages, letters, lipstick stains on K’s shirt, love notes in his bag; it was all too annoying for her. She had once spotted a picture of her in K’s sack and was smitten by it. J had to admit she was very pretty, prettier than what J could ever imagine herself to be. K’s girl friend was pretty than every girl on the campus she was aware of.
K on the other hand was both innocent and profane to the change in his social stature. J knew that while he always acted aloof and behaved nonchalant, he actually relished all the attention showered on him due to his girl friend. K flaunted the fact that he had a girl friend with a broad grin on his face. Their stories were the most talked about topic on the college campus. J felt that K had matured in the constant phase of his relationship. She had often heard of fights between the couple but had always found K level headed and static. This was new to her.
J realized that water was still running and cleansing her hand. She kicked herself for sailing with her thoughts again and thinking about K, his girl friend. She stepped out of her washroom and started dressing up for college. It was time to get her personality back from the filtering prowess of her college wall. It was one of the very few times she looked forward to going to her college, the exam season had begun and being the only geek left , she was popular. She wanted to enjoy all the attention she was receiving; she knew in about two weeks this would all end and she would be a geek, a nerd and would be unpopular again.”
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