Part - 3 “Acedia-Wrath”

“J was disturbed. The exam results had been declared. While she had evidently secured top pole position in the chart, K had witnessed an alarming downfall. His name was not even in the list. He had failed. J shivered at the thought of the repercussions it would have. K’s family had always been very judgmental about his academic vulnerabilities. The college authorities were stumped too, J was told they would be looking into the matter and dig out reasons for K’s fall from grace.

J felt bad for K. She knew he had not studied and she knew the reason for it too. K was still nowhere to be seen and J was getting worried now. J cursed herself for drifting so far apart from him. She knew she could have got him to study. She knew he was in love and for once something else than academics was his priority. She knew she could have prevented the mishap but she did not. She was felt guilty for what had happened.

J wanted to meet K. She bought his favorite pastry and waited for an hour at his house. She was very uncomfortable with K’s parents asking her random questions but she waited. An hour later she left with a bad taste in her mouth. K knew she was coming, he had still preferred his girl friend over her. She was hurt again.

J woke up drowsily to switch off her mobile phone which was beeping repeatedly and very annoyingly. With half shut eyes she noticed K was calling her furiously. She checked the time; it was 2.30 in the night. She was still angry at him for not showing up. She disconnected the call and switched off her cell phone.

Back in college the next day K was not around. J tried searching for him at every nook and corner but he was nowhere to be seen. J was worried now, she called up K to know that he was in hospital, he had attempted suicide, yet again.

J hurried to the hospital. Thoughts were storming through her mind like sea waves, she wanted to know what had gone wrong, did K have a heartbreak again? Did his girl friend dump him cause he had failed miserably in the exams? J had a lot of questions she needed the answer to.

K was weak but he managed a smile. J felt better already. His smile effervesced all her worries with a soothing ease. K’s parents looked worried though. The doctor calmed everyone down saying K would be perfectly all right in a couple of days. K’s parents suggested that J spent the night at their place since they had a lot to talk to her about. J meekly complied.

The night was dangerous and darkly disturbing. After a polite cordial dinner everyone sat down to have a talk. The tension in the room was astounding; J could feel her discomfort ebbed in the chilly breeze that sent shivers down her spine. K’s mother broke the tension and inquired J about the presence of a Girl friend in K’s life.

J knew this was coming up. She had prepared herself for this question. She started with a polite yet strong statement supporting love and denouncing people who called it stupidity. She continued with an enchanted elegance and strongly expressed her views about getting K through this and supporting his academics the next semester. She went a step ahead and promised them that she would talk to K’s girl friend and persuade her to do the same.

K’s mother who was listening to her intently suddenly broke into tears. And that is when she told J the truth, the bitter truth which shattered a lot of her illusions.

After K’s dismal performance in the exams, his parents had received a call from the authorities asking them to look into the matter. K’s parents had been taken aback and were shocked at the revelation. K’s father wanted to confront him and ask him the reason for this calamity. K was not in the house and his father was in his room looking at his computer, reading every information available.

His father searched his room thoroughly and found a lot of unexplainable things , a tape recorder , free cheap message coupons , software cd’s, his computer contained facial pictures of many random girls. His father spoke to their servants to find any connection between the things he had discovered in his son’s room. The information confused him even more.

Late in the night he confronted K about everything. After an outright denial, K told him what purpose did the various items discovered in his closet served. The softwares installed in the computer had many utilities , One was supposed to connect his home phone to his computer, the other enabled automatic dial , there were also a couple of messaging softwares on which he could type messages on his computer and send them to any mobile through his home phone later, at a fixed time.

J took a while to process all the information and that was when it hit her. Why she had never seen K’s girlfriend, why did she always call at fix times, why she had heard different accents, why K always refused to introduce her. Deep down she always knew the truth, there was no Girl friend. K had perfected his personality by creating an illusion around himself, an illusion in which he had a girl friend who loved him to death. Using the softwares, the tape recorder and a few downloaded pictures he had fooled everyone, even himself.

It took a few weeks before J could talk to K about it. K always wanted to tell J the reality, but slowly he had fallen in love with the image of his girl friend too. His truth and sincerity was lost deep inside the hollow shell of imagination he chose to live into. K knew she was not real and he had created her, but her presence gave him a relief he had wanted all his life. It gave him acceptance. People try to perfect the world they live into and fall in love with it; K had fallen in love with an image and had tried to fit it inside his world, the reality. J stood with K even through his imaginary girlfriend. The two best friends promised each other never to tell this story to anyone”

And this is where my life journey ends. I am a story and like everything else I must meet my end too. I would like to end this saga by scribbling something K texted J when she had asked him why he still chose to live with the Illusion he had created for himself “You know Jasmine, there were days when she used to love me. Those days are still enough. Love Karan”